Wednesday, December 31, 2008
i guess this is it, the end of december, the end of this *insert descriptive word* year.
i said that i would take a step back in 08, but i guess that didnt help much?
in fact i realised this year was several times worse than last year. and i thought 07 was harsh.
i have not the slightest thought that 09 will be a good year.
well, it may be a good year, but it wont be a very pleasant one.
cos everything will be gone, gone so quickly.
and when the time comes, it comes down to one question,
will you remember?
i wished i wouldnt doubt that..
i have so much to speak about this year..
but couldnt, so hope it'll fade, and never resurface again.
well, anyways the best thing that happened was the japan exchange program, one of the few desicions i didnt regret.
let the current flow, there's no turning back now.
sayonara
may a person rest here, and drop his drag
leaving behind the stones, but not the bag
scarred at
9:35 PM
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
my december's left with 1 day.
you know, i've been thinking alot during these times.
how i was so stupid, confused.
and whether you'll remember.
at times like this i really would like it if i could post and post like i did before, but the feeling just isnt there.
i do have an urge to do a nice post.
and next, is that i keep thinking of the japan exchange prog.
the time in japan etc. i really felt happy when i was there in a whole new place.
it gave me a glimpse of how its like to leave everything behind.
and not to forget the japs who came to singapore too.
i've been telling myself that as long i keep the memories, i'll pull through. its all i need, right?
but things from the past and the future never cease to put me in discomfort.
lets just say i'll be looking at everything with a blank look, feet on the ground,
with time as the only thing that's moving me, nothing else.
i guess this would save people the sorrow, and mine too.
scarred at
5:41 PM
Sunday, December 28, 2008
i happened to pass by jakie's blog, and found his post meaningful. would like to share (if there's actually anyone reading this)
credits to jakie and the person in the forum.
Found this on a forum.
Think it holds an important message.
Not just for girls, guys too.
Although I think guys seem to experience it much lesser.
Anyways.
Just food for thought.
[Quote]
"What Happened to All the Nice Guys?"
I see this question posted with some regularity in the personals section, so I thought I'd take a minute to explain things to the ladies out there that haven't figured it out.
What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.
See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were ****ing treated you.
At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.
Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"
Well, once again, you did.
You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.
Fact is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.
So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:
1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.
I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.
If you were five years younger.
So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've ****ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bull**** and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't ****ing want you, now.
Sincerely,
A Recovering Nice Guy
[Unquote]
scarred at
10:34 PM
back from sunway lagoon yesterday
quite a waste of time.
sian miss the jap trip and program.
few more days to next year.
haiz.
scarred at
9:13 PM
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
back from sjab chalet. quite nice. esp the quiet night.
anyway im convinced that i'm still being laughed at from above given that it happened during the christmas present exchange.
maybe i should post on the japan trip
scarred at
7:41 PM
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
9 months.
drifting in and out of consciousness
i miss the japs D=
scarred at
9:03 PM
Thursday, December 11, 2008
they left D=
was having great time with the japs.
they came on 9th and left on 11th.
shallnt bother writing what happened, already did somewhere else.
anyway today was the best and worst birthday ever.
going to send them off at airport tmr, give them a suprise.
then what?
scarred at
11:40 PM
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
okay guess i shall post bout the trip. but maybe pics on a separate posts, too many.
very sian now.
changed my mind abt posting on the trip. wont post the details, but maybe the pics.
the trip was great, really. many sceneries there. the feeling is totally awesome, to be in another place. i liked kagoshima the most compared to fukuoka and yakushima island cos the ppl there are nicer and the atmosphere there clings to me.
throughout all the activities, we went to many places. but the most outstanding activities were the farm stay and the Takeokadai High School japanese students.
the family at the farm stay was very warm towards us. they have a really warm and happy family. it really speaks to you the difference between the people there and here..
didnt get a chance to have an actually buddy, since i was in a group that was assigned to the VP. we stayed at the VP's house as our homestay and his family were very nice too. had a good time interacting with them.
but even if we didnt have a buddy, we had 3 guys who spent time with us throughout our time in school. really thankful for them, they're great guys too.
this trip really means alot to me. just kept thinking of the feeling there. the feeling of being away from this place, without any worries. just being in the atmosphere gave such a calming feel.
it made me realise a few things as well, about that place, about this place.
in the end, it all left me hanging there. im like a wondering soul now.
scarred at
3:42 PM
Monday, December 1, 2008
today's 1st of December,
my favourite and most dreaded month.
its the month of the last before the next. when the time comes, will they remember?
scarred at
1:02 PM
Saturday, November 29, 2008
back from Kyushu, Japan.
it was a great great experience i swear. and meeting the jap students was totally awesome...
but very sad now man..
shall give a detailed post soon, but its very long..
all gone
scarred at
11:25 PM
Sunday, November 23, 2008
IM AT CHANGI AIRPRT NOW
scarred at
12:21 AM
Saturday, November 22, 2008
haha. kinda excited, going japan exchange program soon.
must reach terminal 3 at 10, flight at 1am.
gone for a week!
hope i can take as many pictures as i expect too. and some videos perhaps.
i dunno, but im sure i wont feel like coming back, even if its somewhere else and not japan.
bytheway im down with a flu now -.-
well well.
thats it.
byebye
scarred at
7:52 PM
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
8 months.
i cant believe how ironic it always is.
and it happens on every of this day.
btw went to orchard road to seach for present.
scarred at
11:07 PM
Saturday, November 15, 2008
back.
overall it was so-so... it just felt empty.
first day.
met with a few bishan ppl to ride all the way to pasir ris. had to carry all the stuffs that i bought the other day. the ride was like, long?
anyway finally reached our destination at around 4.
packed the room and shifted the beds. the place's kinda small though. slacked inside till we went to rent bikes overnight at 6.30. then went back, and slacked again. basically had nothing to do.
went to cycle at around 7 or 8? cycle cycle cycle. shiok. in the night somemore. my favourite.
but someone fell and got injured, so we headed back early.
made our way to the beach later on, around midnight. a little high, tried something.
very saddening anyways..
things were a little fuzzy afterwards, running around here and there..
left for och at around 1-2am? by the way its day 2 already.
12 of us went to cycle all the way there. really nice. the night/morning, the breeze, the shadows.
when we reached och, didnt know whether to head in or not. so decided to go up ahead for some rest and drinks first. after so, went back there.
but suddenly like 4 police vehicles came out, with their flashing lights ON, and surrounded us, and started the questions. lol?
anyway just wrote our names and headed back.
going back felt as good as going there.
very tired, just slumped on the floor and rest. dozed off while waiting for the showers.
cant rmb the time, wish i could. but headed for breakfast afterwards. at mee siam.
shit cant remember what we were doing afterwards. i know we went to return bikes at 10, but cant rmb what happens after that. went for lunch at kfc, went back, played psp..
blah blah blah. i'll edit this part if i remember.
i think i dozed off around 4. woke up when the food was sent here. collected the foo, went back, adn made waterballoons.
prepared and started the bbq afterwards, and was basically tending the bbq pit since.
very fucking sian already la. like, stuck there, dont know what to do.
ppl slowly drifted off. so left a few of us only. threw the waterballoons around since nobody wanted them, and made the whole corridor wet.
packed up. then very very sian. felt so lost la, and just wandered around. fuck.
went out to get something, then cannot get, so had to buy. then forget to bring money. so ran back and forth. haiz. i dont know why i bother anyway.
after ppl left, stared at our bbq area. then was fucked up. things were welling inside. i thought i couldnt make it.
threw the thrash. and just wandered around. walked all the way out to the main road and sat there. but i couldnt find any peace like i thought i would. felt so lost, really. i dont know what i should do can? it just fucking happens over and over again.
even the balcony area in our room didnt bring any help. dragged throughout the night..
there was only a few of us left, the others all went away one by one.
we were sleeping, but i couldnt cos no space. drifted in and out of sleep throughout.
morning. today. played psp again while they slept cos i woke up early.
went for breakfast with edgar and ingfa.
went back, then got to check out already. wanted to take a pic of the key but failed..
the remaining 7 of us went to the foodcourt before heading to take bus.
very tired now. both physically and mentally.
i dont know what to do la... why? fuck why??
it just flashed by, and i thought that could at least have some where all of us spent some time together. how naive.
drifted around like some nobody without anywhere to go.
and i dont think i wanna plan anymore, cos everytime i do so, seem to be very agonizing for me.
and now i'm still thinking what to do.
pictures next time if any..
scarred at
8:29 PM
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
hope the next 3 days will be...
scarred at
10:59 PM
Friday, November 7, 2008
today was the final last day in zhonghua as sec3 in 08.
...
very saddening.
anyway was feeling kinda restless today during lessons, probably because its the last day.
oh and i borrowed calvin and hobbes from jiahao. haha.
had physics spa later on. quite ok, normal normal.
we had to stay in sch and wait till 5.20 for japan trip jap lesson and briefing.
so was quite bored. went to sjab room to play bandages -.-
the jap lesson was a new experience. the jap dude was so cute. esp his "so" word.
ended at 7 plus and here i am now.
its like the last day of the year, of a year that we spend with our new class, the year that was in anticipation of the next, and the year in which was so... confusing.
what i've seen so far, including today.. was so confusing. i dont know how it got this way. and i dont know whats real, whats not.
does the last day seem like nothing to the others? im not saying that we should brood and cry over it, nothing of that sort.
but think carefully, how much time do you have left in the school, with the people?
can you bear to see things that you cant let go, slip away when the time comes, leaving you helpless?
bye sec3, today's the day that i dreaded to come.
will your heart sing with pain?
scarred at
9:39 PM
Thursday, October 23, 2008
so thats it. official last day of school over.
did springcleaning. and removed the backboard, including all the cranes that i single handedly folded with such amount of meaning and irony in it..
went to audi for briefing before going back to cls for report book.
im at peace with my results, so quite ok..
this year was very different.
it really seems as if my head's on a never ending rollercoaster ride.
i dont know howor why im so unsteady this year..
i let feelings manifest, took over me, and my thoughts. its very seldom that i find myself stupid after looking back.
you know, how much i wish to turn back time. i really do. to retrace the wrong moves i made, and i probably could have saved a life,
instead of trying to save mine now.
perhaps i should let go of the rusty nails im clutching so tightly on to.
but these rusty nails, are the only thing that fills my palm.
without them, im nothing, on top of the present nothingness.
remembering all those moments of such agony, insecurity, breaking down,
keeping fucking things inside.
and remebering all those things i lost...
i lost so, so much. could anyone possibly understand?
and worst still, i came to found out that on the first day, it was meant to be lost.
but why? fucking why??
since its the last day of sch for this year,
half the blood's already lost.
what am i to do when its all gone? tell me, what happens.
will they be able to understand whats beyong their comprehension..?
i said enough.
i'll wont forget what i lost.
All those things you couldn’t say, you should have said
scarred at
9:24 PM
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
its the last day of learning carnival and we went for sculpture walk, followed by chem spa.
i'll do a proper post tmr...
scarred at
8:15 PM
Friday, October 17, 2008
went to jiahao's house yesterday to watch heroes. his comp got 1000+ virus la! =_=
Learning Carnival today.
yay.
played volleyball for the first time. MISSED TWO TIMES! sorry sorry.
anyway lost on second match. played with sec4 O_O
its after 7 months now.
and its almost a yaer..
scarred at
7:53 PM
Thursday, October 9, 2008
okok. chinese finished yesterday = no more EOY papers in zhss anymore.
went watch Eagles Eye in the evening.
nice la.
went to bought some small figurine, KENA SCAM LA.
zzzzzz ._.
so i went to buy a bigger one. very steady one. just heart pain that wasted on the small one. tsk.
not a crazed fan, but like this.
nehmind nehmind.
just broke now.
had sjab gathering. slacked in the house throughout.
scarred at
10:55 PM
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
PHYSICS OWNED ME.
at least the dreaded one's over. emaths was okay.
chinese tmr, last paper.
the year's gonna end soon..
so,
cant they see what i see?
anyway mother lost money due to the fucking stocks.
haiz. see her sad over lost hard earned money also feel very bad.
sigh.
scarred at
8:53 PM
Friday, October 3, 2008
first day of main papers.
didnt think i did very well though. sigh.
anyway went with jiahao with mac and some other e5 ppl. sat there... talk talk.
till gtg for tuition at 5.
all the way to 7, eat eat, go home.
tired.
ya just came to update only.
10:30 PM
Saturday, September 27, 2008
got new specs!
i'll write this just for the sake of remembering.
the dream about someone being stabbed, chaos..
the person responsible was seen to be a female, from K school.
then, i tried to understand the person responsible through the actions left behind.
but..
when i saw the person who was stabbed, sitting on the floor, lying on the right corridor wall, but still alive...
i felt so..
concerned..
scarred at
8:31 PM
Friday, September 19, 2008
I THINK I'VE BEEN SEEING A UFO!
next week's adv paper, and im worried bout chinese paper 1 and SS the most.
oh well. try then.
in class, i've been in my head most of the time. this week was kinda harsh really..
i've memories that keep haunting and haunting me. i swear.
i dont want the memories to fade.
all i not want, is to have them, and know how much things are fucked up.
its like, everytime they appear, its like a blade runnning through that fist-sized muscle inside your chest.
btw, i've been havin some kinda weird pain in the left side of my head these few days.
these memories hold me tight, till i can hardly breathe
scarred at
10:30 PM
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
6months ; half a year.
this morning was so harsh..
i mean,
why do i have to be mocked again?
isnt it enough?
besides the fact that i cant say anything in person,
i cant even say much here.
why does it have to be like this.
every single fucking day.
do they know how its like?
i swear,
never.
scarred at
7:50 PM
Sunday, September 14, 2008
opened my eyes slowly, and allowed them to adjust to the somewhat grey scale scene.
i was feeling groggy, but i wasnt totally wiped out. i looked around slowly, it was all so blur, but still visible.
i was in a classroom. our classroom. words were written on the board, there were people around, but not the full class. i believed maths lesson was about to start. i was surprised a little, cos the timing doesnt seem right. then at that point, someone told me it was the 10th of March.
before i could react to this, something at the back of m head told me, "its DEFINITELY Monday". then, i realised where i was.
10th of March. just a few days before That Day. all the time i wished to be able to see the past once again. it really came true. i wasnt shocked, but caught off guard. it really happened. i was back to the past, where i finally had a chance to make things right. a chance.
i felt this warm feeling. i knew for sure, it was the feeling of joy, sense of acceptance, a sense of putting the future behind me, and building a slightly better one in the past, and a sense of chance. i knew for sure. i broke a little smile. little, but genuine smile.
one thing i couldnt figure out, is how i managed to know the exact day. comparing it with dates, it was right on. i just knew it was few days before That Day.
i didnt know how, maybe its cos i was wanting to go back to the period of time so bad. but i just knew..
i was starting to look forward, to what i can do again, what i can do better, and what i can change, so that i wouldnt be like before. just a few days before That Day, what should i do in these few days? and what should i do when That Day comes?
but most importantly, i was thinking of how great it would feel again, when That Day comes.
so pure.. so like before.. so..
normal.
i was thinking of the possibilities... i finally made it back to 10th of March, few days before That Day. i finally made it...
then i was brutally robbed. i woke up. it was a fucking dream. why did i have to wake up?
why was i robbed so heartlessly? i was robbed of a chance. i thought i finally made it back to the past! I DONT INTEND TO BUILD A PERFECT FUTURE IN THE PAST, i just want to have a one that isnt cursed! is that impossible?
the worst thing, i actualyl FELT IT. i was back to the 10th of March! i just needed some time, till That Day comes... but i didnt get a chance to get a chance..
why? i was robbed. i got out of bed. and continued my day, like everyday,
the same shade of grey.
scarred at
7:17 PM
Saturday, September 13, 2008
got our trophee presentation yesterday morning during assembly.
its gonna be a long long day tmr,
and a tough road ahead..
why?
scarred at
10:37 PM
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
term 4..
well, something inside me changed again. and it will keep doing so till God knws when.
btw got our cls photo. really like it alot cos it means alot to me. alot...
how long can i stay like this?
scarred at
9:15 PM
Sunday, September 7, 2008
tmr's term4.
whoopee.
today kinda sucked. was tired cos of yesterday's late zone presentation dinner.
oh yeah got another trophee.
it real suck, you know that?
term 4 term 4 term 4
scarred at
9:19 PM
Friday, August 29, 2008
happy teacher's day!
well its nice to have a break for both teachers and students.
ACES day, so, had the circuit run thingy again. ran two rounds.
bloody hell those sharp turns sure take up alot of energy.
anyway had casualties here and there, only a few that i know of.
one was real bad. had her face smashed to the ground..
gave the presents that we bought, and after was the celebration.
was at the busstop outside sch after dismissal. stayed there for quite awhile till it was settled.
can you remember how it was settled..? would it be like so if one really left?
went all the way to hougang mall to eat japanese food. damn, sure was expensive. heh.
made my way home. but the journey wasnt great.
when is it ever great, if you have so many things running through your mind and you're alone..?
scarred at
9:33 PM
Thursday, August 28, 2008
its the last full day of term 3.
had a good talk with saliya in the sick bay today,
and a good talk with jiahao during lunch.
=)
on the way home though, was kinda raged by an incident. they better be glad that i let them walk.
well, the night was rough though.
family.
i burst. broke down. fell apart.
no one's fault though, not my family's fault.
it was just me.
perhaps i kept everything inside for too long. but i only bursted out regarding family stuffs.
im just drifting around.
some part of me changed again.
scarred at
10:24 PM
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
went to buy teacher's day presents at vivo after physics ssp.
a little broke now. heh.
walked around the place, looked into shops, and finally bought chocolates.
ate some sushi after that.
sian.
fucking shit.
byebye
scarred at
9:06 PM
Sunday, August 17, 2008
5 months.
scarred at
9:59 PM
Thursday, August 14, 2008
i dont care if anyone reads this.
but after so long.
if i dont blog, doesnt mean i dont have things to say, memories to record.
if i dont talk, doesnt mean i dont want people to.
if i dont take credit, doesnt mean i dont help othersr behind their backs.
if i dont smile, doesnt mean i dont want to.
if i dont tell people how i really feel, doesnt mean i never want to.
if i dont scream, doesnt mean i'm not inside.
if my eyes dont tear, doesnt mean i aint crying.
if i dont clear misunderstandings, doesnt mean i'm happy with their presence.
if i dont have people to confide too, doesnt mean i'm not longing for one.
if i dont release everything inside, i'll probably stay like this.
this fuck is getting nowhere.
who am i kidding. my faith?
scarred at
7:27 PM
Saturday, August 9, 2008
i thought i could be in that place again,
to see the fireworks.
i guess not.
fate doesnt allow me,
but why does it allow others..?
scarred at
8:18 PM
yesterday's date was cool. 08.08.08
was a short day, nice performance by choir, and cool bag thingy gave by the school.
but after that it was crappy shit.
ppl just dont spare thoughts.
anyway happy birthday singapore!
i dunno what im gonna do man.
fucking lost.
all the time.
scarred at
10:09 AM
Saturday, August 2, 2008
FLAG DAY.
muahaha.
my 4th flag day.
hmmm...
me and jasper worked real hard. managed to get almost full!
quite happy, cos the money aint for ourselves anw.
thanks to all those who donated, and extra thanks to those who were really nice. =)
but too bad we were really really broke when we were abt to go back. lol jasper had to dig out 60 cents frm the tin to get a bus ride.
alright. as usual, crappy post.
i'm good at pretending
scarred at
10:09 PM
Thursday, July 31, 2008
its the last day of july.
...
another month passed. just passed like that.
anyway today's mum's last day at work. she's been working at the company for 20 years now, kinda hard to leave i know.
the skies are mocking me.
looking everywhere, only to find, that its not the way i had imagined it all in my mind
scarred at
9:10 PM
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
its really, amazing how ironic little things can be.
i couldnt find my physics stuffs, all of em, since last week. and was quite pissed cos i aint got a faintest idea where was it.
and like, must redo workbook, buy new tb, photocopy notes etc etc,
kinda sucks.
well was abt to get new ones today,
but suddenly it was returned to me.
apparently the woman found it in the lab.
but i dont rmb putting it there!
anw, thanks to the lady who found it and to the person who passed it to me.
may be such a small thing,
but i could get so much meaning out of it. but of course, you, reading this, wouldnt think so, cos i didnt go into details.
i wonder if the skies are mocking me as they helped me.
scarred at
9:43 PM
Saturday, July 26, 2008
well, i dont have a favourite superhero, but i do like some.
and The Dark Knight was awesome.
very good movie.
to me, it was very meaningful
walked around, walked around.
im not gonna go into details i guess.
i never was able to anyway, right?
scarred at
9:48 PM
Monday, July 21, 2008
HAPPY RACIAL HARMONY DAY!
thanks to faris who lent me his malay clothes thingy.
well, disappointing that couldnt take photos with the ppl in the cls...
only managed to take one.
anw, TGH is so fucked up. jasper and i saw her costume had some blue lines and dots.
actually it cam from her own marker! on her costume. LOL.
so we laughed and she send us out. still laughing though. damn stupid.
and she's still picking on me man.
scarred at
9:37 PM
Thursday, July 17, 2008
so i guess, been 4 months since.
guess im slowly healing. before the damage comes again.
YAY i got 19/20 for amaths! COULD HAVE GOTTEN FULL MARKS LA. cos i use another method. but nvm! happy enough. but it also cos of qn 2 that they gave marks to everyone though, so everyone passed =D
okay but chem sucked shit today. luckily managed to at least complete the paper. sian la. put in effort for chem leh!
kk nvm.
these were part of the almost 700 cranes i folded. never made it to a thousand. halfway through, no feel..
anw, some got lost, some were given away etc etc. not almost 700 anymore.
wanted to throw them all away,
but i guess the fractions of a thousand, will be placed at the cls notice board.
decorated the board yesterday with 2 other ppl. thats it. always like that.
scarred at
7:46 PM
Monday, July 14, 2008
No One Knows
While slowing himself through the sands of time
He realize that faster is how it’ll chime
With both speeds embedded in a lonely rhyme
Dreams and hopes steadily sublime
Every single time he looks
He gets trapped on a rusty hook.
A hook of contradiction like in a lousy book
Chances and opportunities away it took
Just trying to forget how things could have been
Just wanna throw everything into the bin
You don’t know how it’s like to see
All these things that spin and spin
Can’t you just see what’s within?
Can’t you just know how time is thin?
Never will know how to explain
All the secrets inside that have been kept contained
Just keep trying and trying in vain,
Just don’t know anymore what’s true and sane
Numb, is what comes after the pain,
And repetition, is what comes after the feign
If you see his brain and heart all punctured and stained,
All you need to do is wonder,
If being like this, is humane.
my 2nd workpiece.
scarred at
9:01 PM
probably the worse thing that could happen. zhenwei last minute cant come cos his grandfather passed away. of cos its no one's fault, but everything was FUCKING SCREWED.
yesterday was the competition. we cant even train with our new backup-lastminute-lousy-inefficient team. anw, we did badly for short case, toc, and footdrill. everything sucked shit.
hiaz. at least long case was okay.
anyway what can we do? we were quite relaxed before it was our turn and after we finished all our cases. but in between was quite sad la.
when the results came, was fucking unexpected. we got 5TH!
wow... seriously. cant believe it.
really lucky. really really lucky.
but still, glad that it turned out this way. but cant help but wonder, with our fucking shitty shit that we had at the last minute, we got 5th, what could we have gotten if our original team was here? 3rd? 4th? i have confidence so.
HAIZ. TOO DAMN BAD.
oh well.
scarred at
7:30 PM
Friday, July 11, 2008
WHY WHY. haiyo. why why. NATIONALS THIS SUNDAY, TWO DAYS LATER.
and our first man down.
EVERYTHING DOWN THE DRAIN.
today's okay though.
scarred at
11:50 PM
Sunday, July 6, 2008
its been a long long while.
havent been posting, cos. i cant post the way i did before, with the 'haha's, happy mood and stuff.
i doubt anyone gives a fuck to come here now.
anyway, first two weeks of school passed.
the two weeks was.. hollow.
like i said, time to change.
e learning day was cool. played badminton for damn long at the CC without paying =P
and i lost my tube of cocks. guess some other family took by accident.
so today's a sunday and my sundays now are no sundays. chem tuition followed my maths tuition. anyway nth special today except that on the way to maths tuition i saw a little girl crying. apparently she got lost and cant find her moma.
managed to bring her all the way back home, but got lost after that.
so was late for maths.
like i said, cant post like i did before huh...
FUCK IT DONT YOU ALL UNDERSTAND WHAT I DO, WHAT I SEE?!
time's slipping away, and i mean it...
goodbye
you all dont know how its like,
to have your mind and heart punctured by rusty spikes
scarred at
9:56 PM
Sunday, June 22, 2008
fuck time that flies.
next half's tomorrow.
and soon, it'll be totally gone.
time to change.
scarred at
9:20 PM
Monday, June 16, 2008
thanks shaobin for inviting us to his house.
Rush Hour marathon.
3 months...
everything's so far away from me
scarred at
10:35 PM
Sunday, June 15, 2008
i never liked that person,
but he shouldnt deserve this..
my deepest condolences.
scarred at
10:54 PM
Saturday, June 14, 2008
ya know,
i wished i had the feel to post everything about training camp. but its like. no mood?
i'll just depend on my memory then.
see how long will it be,
before memories of this camp start to fade.
the camp where i spent so much time thinking,
and posting questions to myself,
"why?"
scarred at
9:06 PM
